I think this is better, but I'm still not certain about it. One idea I had was to add footnotes; the sober person the next morning explaining what actually happened -- they would be didactic and verbose in tone -- but I don't know exactly how that would work, or if it would work well, either. And besides, I'm not sure they're necessary and I'm also not sure what the story would be that they told.
All I’m saying, all I’m say… saying, is… you should listen to what I’m saying. It’s… you would think that maybe you would think about con-conse-consek effects before you’re a real prick to your brother. I mean, it’s basic kindness, famil-famil-family-family-al bonds and whatnot. Bros before… not bros. Blood is thicker than wine?
‘Scuse me. I’m not… I’m not like this. I didn’t drink tonight, I just… well... I had a little bit, just a little bit, you know, to calm me down. You know how it is. It’s just… I just… he’s my brother. I can’t just hate him.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
How I Came to be Standing Here, Half Naked, and More Than a Bit Tipsy, at a Bus Stop, at Two in the Morning (revised)
With a redone ending, thanks to Ayn's comments.