Monday, May 19, 2008

Oh my; Elizabeth writing something short, again?!

Ayn suggests drabbles to help with short-form writing. I trust her since she is an expert in brevity and in wit. Here is one; for some reason I really want to title it with a reference to the Neverland. It doesn't make much sense.

If You Close Your Eyes And Are A Lucky One

The city floats on clouds, the grime of its streets seeping into the white cumulus mass, turning the sky ominous and dark. But the storm doesn’t break yet; it only drizzles. You can see the towers clearly, jet black standing out against dark gray. They seem too massive, too tangible to be floating midair, and you expect them to fade away into a mirage or fall, heavily, back to earth, shaking the ground and sending tremors out for miles. But the city stays afloat, and instead the mist seeps through your jacket and your skin and down to your bones.

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

A revision, again, inspired by Ayn's comments:

The city floats on clouds, its grime seeping into the white cumulus mass, darkening the sky. But the storm doesn’t break; it only drizzles. You can see towers clearly, jet black standing out against gray. They seem too massive to be floating midair, and you expect them to fade away into a mirage or fall, heavily, back to earth, shaking the ground and sending tremors out for miles. But the city stays afloat, and the mist seeps through your jacket and your skin and down to your bones. Your toes are numb, you wonder if the cloud has swallowed them.