Energy was first to go. She slowed down. She stopped caring about little things, like who was running for president or if we were at war. She had never enjoyed sunbathing, but now there was nothing she would rather do. Getting up was harder every time.
“Mom,” her son called, “It’s almost midnight. You should come inside.”
She didn’t move.
“Mom, I’ve made breakfast.”
“Mom, there’s no food and I can’t drive to the store.”
“Mom, I’m hungry.”
“Mom, I’m going to Billy’s. He says his folks’ll take care of me.”
She heard the door shut. She shed a leaf.
I know there are like four hundred and fifty three stories with the same plot (person turns into plant!). They are almost all cooler than mine. I am okay with this.
Also, I found the autosummary feature, but it turns out it was not nearly as dadaist as I remembered (at least with the two tries I gave it). Also, it works by scoring each word by the number of times used, and then each sentence by the sum of the common-ness of its words (probably with some control for length). So I pretty much just got a bunch of sentences of the sort "(Main Character) (common verb)."