There is a turkey in my refrigerator. Rightly, not a whole turkey. A whole turkey would neither have fit on my bicycle nor in my miniscule oven. A significant portion of a turkey, however, with some light meat and some dark meat. Newsflash to Elizabeth: Turkeys are surprisingly heavy. As in, I was unprepared for the fact that although I tried to balance my bicycle with potatoes, apples, and other produce, it was (unfortunately) impossible. My bike was still dangerously tippy until I worked up the momentum to stabilize it (and even then). Slowing down was exciting. Honestly, had I sat and thought about it for very long, I would have realized that frozen meat was going to be denser than brussels sprouts. But I didn't. Fortunately, I got home safely, and so did the turkey, and now it is sitting in my refrigerator thawing, and I am dreading going back to the grocery store tomorrow after work to get the apple juice (and other things) I forgot. It is not the end of the world that I forgot them; they would not have fit on my bicycle anyway.
Also, the closer it comes the more I realize that I have no idea what the hell I am doing. It will, potentially, be an exciting Thanksgiving. At least there will only be four other people to witness my crazed humiliation.